Among the Things I Used to Believe
At some point in my childhood I had a poster of an Elephant teetering with all 4 fat legs on a striped beach ball. Underneath in some dramatic font were the words: Balance Is Key.
Who knows why I was drawn to that poster, probably purchased at a book fair along with a colorful pencil or animal shaped eraser that didn't work.
I must have known, even then, that my internal life was a bit of a storm. That my swampy thoughts needed some anchoring.
The thing is though, now I don't see that as a problem. Balance is no longer my goal.
Now, my goal looks more like simply standing on the sand. Wiggling my toes into the millions of tiny crystals surrounding my feet. Breathing in the salt air and noticing the way my whole body relaxes at the sound of the waves. I might look over and laugh at the eager seagulls swirling around where I left my picnic blanket, hoping for an easy lunch. Maybe the clouds look a bit ominous over the distant horizon line, and maybe it will rain. I might notice a happy dog running free near the cliffs, and hope it will come say hello to me. Maybe I will stay here for a few minutes more, or all afternoon, or my whole life.
All I know is this is where I am right now and here is where I want to be. Balance might be an illusion, but this body - these feet - this beach - is real. I can stand on that. No beach ball needed.
Note: Shelter Workshops begin this week and next! Check them out here: https://shelterwriters.com/collections/frontpage